Thursday, June 27, 2013

You Can’t Force Someone to Love You

My older cousin taught me a valuable lesson about other people’s feelings when I was just six years old. Maybe this analogy can help you too. I had wanted a cat with all of my heart and soul, and my favorite aunt had finally gotten me one. I was so happy to have that cat that I couldn’t put her down. No matter how much she struggled and meowed to be let go, I just wanted to cuddle her more. If she did get away, I’d chase her all over the house until I caught her again. I simply couldn’t love her enough. Then one day I was walking through the living room at my aunt’s house when my cousin grabbed me and held me tight on his lap. “Let me go,” I yelled. “No,” he said. I started to struggle and fight, but he was much bigger than me and I couldn’t get away. I started to cry, but he still wouldn’t let me go. I was angry and kicking and screaming. It made no difference; he wouldn’t let me go. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally released me. He asked, “Did you like that?” “No!” I said, still pouting. “That’s what you do to the cat!” he said. Wow, that was awful. I got it. After that, every time she wanted to get down, I let her—even though I didn’t like it.

            When you love someone, it’s not just about what you want. True love means wanting the other person to be happy too. It’s a hard pill to swallow when what he wants is to be away from you. But the loving thing to do is to let him have what he wants. You can’t force someone to love you.  The more you try to manipulate someone, the more you push them away. He may end up hating you. He almost certainly will cut you off forever. I know it’s very scary not to be able to control things—especially when they affect your safety. But you need to stop being your own worst enemy. Push the pause button and take care of you. You will be much more attractive if you maintain your power and act nutritiously.  

Watch Donna's Video:  When to let go after a breakup (or possibly get your ex back)